President Obama seems to have
run into a string of bad luck, fumbles and other assorted problems. Of course,
all of this is somebody else’s fault. In an effort to help rebuild his shaken
overconfidence, I have taken the liberty of helping the President become a
winner for a change; especially since hope has faded and change is all
we have left! My idea is very straightforward and, unlike most of his
strategies, mine will not raise taxes or add to the federal deficit. It’s
simple; all that is needed is a big score. Obama needs to hit the Lottery. The
big one, Powerball! Not easy you say? Nonsense. He just needs the right
numbers. I have selected the numbers on his behalf, not at random of course,
but after a careful review of his record as President.
#57. The number of states
candidate Obama visited just prior to being elected, and yet after this
assertion still won the election. (See May 2008 YouTube video). I knew we were
in trouble when I saw this one.
#30. The number of hours per
week team Obama has defined as “full-time” work. Great, will someone please
inform my supervisor that I will be scaling back my hours, but still expect the
same compensation each week?
#29:The maximum number of
hours many Americans are now working as a direct result of the number 30. (see
above)
#50. There are two reasons
for this lucky number. It is in fact how many United States exist. It’s really
easy to mistake this number especially since it has not changed in over
54 years. It’s also very close to 57 if you think about it like that. The
second reason I selected this number is that it is the number of employees that
a small business must not exceed in order to avoid mandatory health
insurance penalties.
#49. This is the number at
which many small businesses will stop hiring new workers, to avoid the cost of
mandatory penalties (see above). This is also the average number of times the President
says “um” per sentence whenever he is not using a teleprompter.
#1. The Powerball, duh!
Everything is about him. This one is a no brainer. Remember no “1” felt
worse than he did when four Americans were killed in Benghazi. This tragedy isa
result of his failure to protect them or send backup the night they were
tortured to death. Do you think the
families of these patriots might disagree about who felt worse? I do.
So there you have it. All
that’s left now is to decide what to do with the multi- million dollar
windfall? I see no point in donating this pittance toward our $17 trillion
deficit. How about a direct donation to the families that lost their loved ones
in defense of our country? This is really the only reason I decided to help in
the first place! I just hope he “um” thanks me when he hits the Powerball.
