Friday, December 12, 2014

IS...IS...YOU GOING TO HURT ME?

The Senate Foreign Relations Committee on Thursday voted to authorize President Obama's war against the Islamic State group -- the first vote in Congress to explicitly grant him war powers in the U.S. battle against the militant extremists.


The vote was 10-8, with most Democrats in favor and Republicans opposed.

The committee chairman, Sen. Robert Menendez, D-N.J., said he would seek a full Senate vote on the measure before the current Congress ends, but it's more likely that the authorization will be delayed until the next, Republican-led Congress, which starts Jan. 1.

In the U.S. battle against IS, Obama has been relying on congressional authorizations that former President George W. Bush used to justify military action after 9/11. Critics say the White House's use of post-9/11 congressional authorizations is a legal stretch, at best.  Obama has insisted that he had the legal authority to send about 3,000 U.S. troops to train and assist Iraqi security forces, and launch 1,100 airstrikes against targets in Iraq and Syria since September. More recently, the president has said that he wants a new authorization for use of military force.

On Tuesday, Secretary of State John Kerry said whatever new authorization Congress passes should not limit U.S. military action to Iraq and Syria or prevent the president from deploying ground troops if he later deems them necessary. He also said that if the new authorization had a time limit, there should be a provision for it to be renewed.

Menendez' resolution, which was passed, would authorize the president to use military force against IS and associated persons or forces -- individuals fighting for or on behalf of IS. It would limit the activities of U.S. forces so that there would be no large-scale ground combat operations. Menendez has said that if the president feels he needs that, then he should ask Congress for authorization to do that.

The authorization would be limited to three years and would require the administration to report on the fight against IS every 60 days. He said a three-year time limit would allow Obama and the next president time to assess the situation and make decisions about whether and how to continue military action against IS.

The authorization would not allow ground combat operations, except as necessary to protect or rescue U.S. soldiers or citizens, conduct intelligence operations, spotters to help with airstrikes, operational planning or other forms of advice and assistance.

Sen. Bob Corker, R-Tenn., the incoming chairman of the committee, said he respected the chairman's effort to get an authorization passed, but that he could not support it. He suggested the committee look to the first of the year, and a new Congress, to take up the issue again.

He said Congress and the administration should coordinate on an authorization that would better track the United States' approach to fighting IS -- something that he thinks any member of the committee would be hard-pressed at this stage to define.

Sen. Barbara Boxer, D-Calif., supported the resolution, saying Congress cannot sit back and do nothing "in response to this evil."

"When it comes to human rights abuses, they (Islamic State militants) are in a class of their own," she said.

But she also does not support an authorization that would allow U.S. ground forces to fight IS. 
"I draw the line in the sand as far as another ground war," she said.

The committee also approved language that would require Congress to reauthorize in three years America's war against al-Qaida, which has been going on since 2001.

(Published December 11, 2014 AP)

Monday, June 2, 2014

President Obama Phone Call to President Nieto of Mexico

President Obama Phone Call To President Nieto Of Mexico

Neito: Hola?  Como Esta? (How are you?)

Obama: Yes, Buenos Deos Amigo! This is Barack calling from Washington DC.

Neito: Como se llama? (What’s your name)

Obama: It’s me, Barack Obama – President of the United States.

Neito: Oh si! Que Pasa? (What’s happening)

Obama: Well, El Presidente. We have a little problem and I was hoping you could help us out?

Neito: Problem, what problem? Don’t tell me you want all those guns back. We already gave them away.

Obama: No no – it’s not the guns; it’s something more important.

Neito: Oh no, don’t tell me you’re returning the Mexican “visitors” from the U.S.? Where am I supposed to put them all?



Obama; No no, we’re keeping them, how do you think I’m going to be elected a third term? It’s about the marine; you guys have him down in Tijuana.

Neito: Que? I don’t know any Maureen from Tijuana. Is she a special friend of yours? I won’t tell anybody.

Obama: No Enrique – not Maureen, Marine, you know like the army Marine. He’s one of our citizens and he is being held in one of your jails. If it’s not too much trouble, we would like to have him released?

Neito: Oh, Lo Siento (I’m sorry). I do know this Marine, he is scheduled for trial for breaking into our county, with a bunch of assault weapons. No?

Obama: Well. Rique, he didn’t “invade” Mexico like we did, or the Spanish, or the French, he’s more like a lost gringo tourist than a conquering force.

Neito: Con Permiso (Excuse me). He may be lost, but what about the tres pistolas?

Obama: You wanna keep the pistolas? No problema! We just want our amigo back, muey pronto if you could?

Neito: Well. Now Presidente “O”migo – we are not just gonna give him back for nothing, you have to pay something. A small token of appreciation in return for our generosity. of course.

Obama: Pay a fee? Are you loco? We are already paying a fee every year. It’s just over a billion dollars the last time I checked. How’s that for “token”?

Neito: Oh si. I forgot about that. I thought it was a propina (tip). So maybe we don’t give him back. What are you going to do to us? Stop eating guacamole? Boycott Corona’s?

Obama: How about we cancel your tip, cancel NAFTA, cancel all flights to and from Mexico, put land mines on the border, and send the rest of our “Maureen’s” to Mexico to retrieve our Amigo? Comprende?

Neito: Perdon, perdon. Lo siento (I’m sorry). We will get started right away, we just needs some paperwork, and it will all be fine, ok? No problem, just wait until mañana, ok? Or the next day, ok?

Obama: Bueno! Muchas Gracias. Felize Navidad, Cinco de Mayo, and Hasta La Vista!

Neito: Adios, Amigo! Bueno Suerte! (Good luck)


*Hangs up the phone and says to his generals. “Start the papers, transfer this ‘Maureen’ to Jarez. We don’t need no stinkin’ badges to cross this red line. Everyone knows that in Mexico Mañana never comes!

Friday, February 21, 2014

The Obama Mullet Distraction Experiment

In an all out effort to distract America and what’s left of the free world from his failed administrative policies, President Obama has re-imaged himself with a new look.

This classic American cut known as the “Mullet” should keep the media from reporting on anymore “phony scandals”. In the famous words of the Beastie Boys, “One on the sides, don’t touch the back, six on the top and don’t cut it wack, Jack!”

Obama’s first look, ‘The Presidential Retreat'

Obama’s second look, ‘The Chief'

Obama’s third look, ‘The P.O.T.O.S.'

Obama’s fourth look, ‘Hair Force One'

Obama’s fifth look, ‘The V.F.F.B – Veto Front Fillibuster Back'

Obama’s sixth look, ‘The Backward Buttrocker'

Obama’s seventh look, ‘The “O” Hare International'

Obama’s eighth look, ‘The Kenyan Flap'

Obama’s ninth look, ‘The Puff Puff Comb Back'

Obama’s tenth look, ‘The Hawaiian Waterfall'

Which Obama mullet distraction is your favorite? Comment below or share your thoughts on my Facebook and Twitter page! Check out my YouTube channel, and subscribe today for consistent conservative entertainment. 

Thanks!

–Oh Scott




Monday, December 30, 2013

Why do we become 'Maniacs' for sports?


Hello sports fans! I’ve got a question for you, a question that you will likely relate to; there’s even a chance that this epitomizes you. Why do billions of people act like complete maniacs when following an athlete they have never met, or a team that has not won a championship in 50 years? My guess is that given a choice between following the daily news or a colorful distraction, it’s “game on” for most folks.


I’ll be the first one to agree, it’s not always fun and games. Rioting, hooliganism, and the occasional mass murder inside a soccer stadium – it can be a bit distasteful, but for the most part, sports are a good thing. I was born with several competitive bones in my body and appreciate games of all kinds, so let’s dive into the beautiful world of sports.

Here is a couple that top my list: American football, auto racing, Olympic sports, fishing, and elephant polo! Don’t believe me? Google it, I swear I didn’t make that up!

Despite my love for the variety of sports above, there’s one sport that truly gets me revved up and keeps me out of my seat, while wincing for those who are being inflicted with serious pain. Drum roll please…by far the most exciting sport in the world is professional bull riding. In what other sport does the opponent attempt to literally kill the athlete for the amusement of the audience? See the attraction? It’s the most wonderful train wreck that one simply cannot keep their eyes off of; it’s inevitable that someone is going to get injured, but naturally, you cannot change the channel.

Of course, everyone is entitled to his or her favorite sport, but at the risk of further alienating my vast audience, I am not afraid to mock the following sports.

·      Bowling and billiards - for obvious reasons.
·      Figure skating - not the skater’s themselves - it’s the scoring system I object to. Think about it. You don’t know your score until it’s over? Not much you can do about it then. That’s stupid.
·      Walk racing. It’s oxymoronic and spastic.

I’m also turned off by the blood sports of boxing, bullfighting, and Frisbee golf.
There are a couple of sports that would clearly benefit from an Oh Scott rules upgrade. That being excitement and extreme amusement!

·      Golf - Way too slow. Can someone please add a racing element?
·      Baseball - Same thing. How about a bat clock? Much like the shot clock in basketball; if you need a 7th inning “stretch”, your game is longer than it needs to be.
·      Sailing - this would be considerably more interesting if the use of weapons could be reintroduced. You know, like pirates and Admiral Nelson.

Finally, I would like to improve the world’s most popular sport, soccer.
I would highly consider watching soccer if the players were allowed to use their hands, you added an extra ball, while putting up a fence and threw in an angry bull or two. Would that drastically change the entire sport? Yes, of course, but this is Oh Scott rules, and that would be my kind of thrill!

Finally, we wouldn’t be talking about true American sports unless we dove into the sport we dominate year after year. Getting fat! If “face stuffing” were an Olympic sport, team USA would be a lock for the gold, silver, and bronze medals. Clearly not something we should be proud of. Maybe we should all play more and watch less? Well, since I have a general dislike for getting all sweaty, I’ll just stick with being a fan for now. Go team!

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Be blessed and stay crazy, you sports maniac!  

Be sure to subscribe to my YouTube Channel and follow me on my Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/ohscottshow and Twitter at https://twitter.com/ohscottshow.


Thursday, December 26, 2013

12 Days of Obama Christmas



Christmas, it's a very merry time of year, full of love and giving. Our President has been extra giving this holiday season, in his own special kind of way. 



Clear your throat, tune your voices and prepare yourself for the ultimate Christmas carol: 

  • On the first day of Christmas Obama gave to me, a Kenyan in a palm tree.
  • On the second day of Christmas Obama gave to me, a two term disaster.
  • On the third day of Christmas Obama gave to me, three part-time jobs.
  • On the fourth day of Christmas Obama gave to me, a healthcare website that doesn't function!
  • On the fifth day of Christmas Obama gave to me, Five bow's to Kings.
  • On the sixth day of Christmas Obama gave to me, Six laws delaying.
  • On the seventh day of Christmas Obama gave to me, Seven Trillion Brimming.
  • On the eighth day of Christmas Obama gave to me, Eight cronies Bilking. 
  • On the ninth day of Christmas Obama gave to me, Nine Czars a dancing. 
  • On the tenth day of Christmas Obama gave to me, Ten times the lying.
  • On the eleventh day of Christmas Obama gave to me, Eleven lib's a griping.
  • On the twelfth day of Christmas Obama gave to me, Twelve scandal's - stunning!

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and a wonderful 2014!

Be sure to subscribe to my YOUTUBE CHANNEL and follow me on my Facebook page at HTTPS://WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/OHSCOTTSHOW and Twitter at HTTPS://TWITTER.COM/OHSCOTTSHOW.

Oh Scott

Monday, December 2, 2013

Gun Control in America

The second amendment is not something my Republican buddies cooked up a couple of years ago. It’s part of the Constitution. Is there anything funny about gun control? I can only think of the silly idea of taking guns away from law-abiding citizens. Americans own about 310 million guns and currently sales are at an all-time high. It’s not because we have all suddenly developed a taste for deer meat, or hunting season increases demand, it’s because we want to defend ourselves. It’s a natural response for us as humans to have a desire to defend ourselves and those close to us.


The liberal media believes that just because you support the Second Amendment you must be part of some “pro-mass shooting lobby”. There’s nothing good about crazy people shooting up schools and movie theaters with weapons. The simple fact is that if more sane people were armed, the mentally ill and downright crazy, would get off a lot fewer shots.


What would you teach your wife or daughter to do if they were being attacked? Hurl a rotten tomato, maybe issue a firm warning? Should she play possum until the cops show up? Faced with an attack, I would rather my wife have a gun in her hand than a 911 operator on the phone.


I’ll bet the Secret Service protects President Obama with more than just rotten eggs. I know from personal experience that owning a firearm is an excellent crime deterrent. Many years ago I was approached by two large drunks armed with baseball bats. The very moment I introduced my inebriated friends to Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson, they decided to play with themselves instead of skinny Scott.


Here’s my advice to the folks that don’t like guns. Don’t own one, it’s as simple as that. Law enforcement does a great job, but they take time to show up. We’ve been given the right to bear arms, by the U.S. Constitution to our free State, and I will continue to protect myself and those around me. If you want to hold off the burglars and rapists in your neighborhood with a rolled up New York’s Times, be my guest.


Thanks for taking the time to read this. Be blessed and well protected!


Be sure to subscribe to my YouTube Channel and follow me on my Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/ohscottshow and Twitter at https://twitter.com/OhScottShow.


Oh Scott

Saturday, November 23, 2013

"O" - Lottery




President Obama seems to have run into a string of bad luck, fumbles and other assorted problems. Of course, all of this is somebody else’s fault. In an effort to help rebuild his shaken overconfidence, I have taken the liberty of helping the President become a winner for a change; especially since hope has faded and change is all we have left! My idea is very straightforward and, unlike most of his strategies, mine will not raise taxes or add to the federal deficit. It’s simple; all that is needed is a big score. Obama needs to hit the Lottery. The big one, Powerball! Not easy you say? Nonsense. He just needs the right numbers. I have selected the numbers on his behalf, not at random of course, but after a careful review of his record as President. 

#57. The number of states candidate Obama visited just prior to being elected, and yet after this assertion still won the election. (See May 2008 YouTube video). I knew we were in trouble when I saw this one.  

#30. The number of hours per week team Obama has defined as “full-time” work. Great, will someone please inform my supervisor that I will be scaling back my hours, but still expect the same compensation each week?  

#29:The maximum number of hours many Americans are now working as a direct result of the number 30. (see above) 

#50. There are two reasons for this lucky number. It is in fact how many United States exist. It’s really easy to mistake this number especially since it has not changed in over 54 years. It’s also very close to 57 if you think about it like that. The second reason I selected this number is that it is the number of employees that a small business must not exceed in order to avoid mandatory health insurance penalties.  

#49. This is the number at which many small businesses will stop hiring new workers, to avoid the cost of mandatory penalties (see above). This is also the average number of times the President says “um” per sentence whenever he is not using a teleprompter.  

#1. The Powerball, duh! Everything is about him. This one is a no brainer. Remember no “1” felt worse than he did when four Americans were killed in Benghazi. This tragedy isa result of his failure to protect them or send backup the night they were tortured to death.  Do you think the families of these patriots might disagree about who felt worse? I do.  

So there you have it. All that’s left now is to decide what to do with the multi- million dollar windfall? I see no point in donating this pittance toward our $17 trillion deficit. How about a direct donation to the families that lost their loved ones in defense of our country? This is really the only reason I decided to help in the first place! I just hope he “um” thanks me when he hits the Powerball.