Hello sports
fans! I’ve got a question for you, a question that you will likely relate to;
there’s even a chance that this epitomizes you. Why do billions of people act
like complete maniacs when following an athlete they have never met, or a team
that has not won a championship in 50 years? My guess is that given a choice
between following the daily news or a colorful distraction, it’s “game on” for
most folks.
I’ll be the
first one to agree, it’s not always fun and games. Rioting, hooliganism, and
the occasional mass murder inside a soccer stadium – it can be a bit
distasteful, but for the most part, sports are a good thing. I was born with
several competitive bones in my body and appreciate games of all kinds, so
let’s dive into the beautiful world of sports.
Here is a
couple that top my list: American football, auto racing, Olympic sports,
fishing, and elephant polo! Don’t believe me? Google it, I swear I didn’t make
that up!
Despite my
love for the variety of sports above, there’s one sport that truly gets me
revved up and keeps me out of my seat, while wincing for those who are being
inflicted with serious pain. Drum roll please…by far the most exciting sport in
the world is professional bull riding. In what other sport does the opponent attempt
to literally kill the athlete for the amusement of the audience? See the
attraction? It’s the most wonderful train wreck that one simply cannot keep
their eyes off of; it’s inevitable that someone is going to get injured, but
naturally, you cannot change the channel.
Of course,
everyone is entitled to his or her favorite sport, but at the risk of further
alienating my vast audience, I am not afraid to mock the following sports.
·
Bowling
and billiards - for obvious reasons.
·
Figure
skating - not the skater’s themselves - it’s the scoring system I object to.
Think about it. You don’t know your score until it’s over? Not much you can do
about it then. That’s stupid.
·
Walk
racing. It’s oxymoronic and spastic.
I’m also turned off by the blood sports of boxing,
bullfighting, and Frisbee golf.
There are a couple of sports that would clearly benefit from
an Oh Scott rules upgrade. That being excitement and extreme amusement!
·
Golf
- Way too slow. Can someone please add a racing element?
·
Baseball
- Same thing. How about a bat clock? Much like the shot clock in basketball; if
you need a 7th inning “stretch”, your game is longer than it needs
to be.
·
Sailing
- this would be considerably more interesting if the use of weapons could be
reintroduced. You know, like pirates and Admiral Nelson.
Finally, I would like to improve the world’s most popular
sport, soccer.
I would highly consider watching soccer if the players were
allowed to use their hands, you added an extra ball, while putting up a fence
and threw in an angry bull or two. Would that drastically change the entire
sport? Yes, of course, but this is Oh Scott rules, and that would be my kind of
thrill!
Finally, we wouldn’t be talking about true American sports
unless we dove into the sport we dominate year after year. Getting fat! If
“face stuffing” were an Olympic sport, team USA would be a lock for the gold,
silver, and bronze medals. Clearly not something we should be proud of. Maybe
we should all play more and watch less? Well, since I have a general dislike for
getting all sweaty, I’ll just stick with being a fan for now. Go team!
Thanks for taking the time to read this. Be blessed and stay
crazy, you sports maniac!
Be sure to subscribe to my YouTube Channel and follow me on
my Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/ohscottshow
and Twitter at https://twitter.com/ohscottshow.
