Hillary 2016

Relax! There’s no way I would ever vote for a Democrat. The following is a hypothetical list of the things that Hillary Clinton would have to do in order to be considered by Oh Scott for 2016.

1. Lose 285 pounds. His name is Bill. She should have divorced him several decades ago. The only reason she hasn’t is her own political ambitions. Hasn’t one Clinton already made “mark” on the Oval Office?

2. Raise the dead. ( from Benghazi ) A total of four people in all. These Americans were left to die when our government failed to send help in a timely fashion. The truth hurts.

3. Switch political parties. Not cocktail parties or Hollywood fund-raising crowds. She would have to become a Republican and start voting like one to get my vote. Like I said, “relax” this will never happen.

4. Sucker punch Joe Biden. Really, I mean it. I’m talking about a real shot in the face of this chief Wahoo look-alike. Preferably on live television and it just for the hell of it. This may be the only time I advocate violence without provocation.

5. Repeal Obama care. With what you ask? Yo Scott Care!™. This is my genius alternative plan, coming to a video soon. Stay tuned to our media page for details. You will dig me saving you money.

Keep in mind the only way she’ll get my vote is if all of the above happens. Since that is virtually impossible I will be voting for the “other person” in 2016. With any luck, so will a lot of other Americans.